Awkward On The Green…

Dear Awkward,

Recently, due to the fact that the weather has been splendid- Stefanie and I have taken to laying on the green outside the Plant Sciences building for a few minutes prior to the beginning of AA 100 (Astronomy). While we were sitting there enjoying the sun and getting a pseudo-10 minute tan, we were just laying there quietly when we heard a rather awkward conversation pass us by:

[Girl 01 Walking away from friend presumably to class]

Girl 01: “Yeah well… at least you don’t have a yeast infection.”
Girl 02: “… oh my god …”

Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious…

~ Chris 

It happened in History–I’m starting to think it should be it’s own category

Dear Awkward,

Last Monday, our professor totally yelled at me and Chris for talking in class. We felt like we were freshmen in highschool. Awkward. We pretty much fail at life.

Also, that same History professor was describing the difference of this family cat in two successive pictures (long story), and he ended up describing the cat in the second picture as “skanky”. Like, he actually said the words “skanky cat”. Chris and I just looked at each other in horror and confusion.

 -Stefanie

 SIDENOTE: As I am writing this, my suitemate is singing Beegees songs while taking a dump…it really doesn’t much more awkard than that.

It’s Business Time…

Dear Awkward,One night earlier this week, Stefanie and I decided to pull an all-nighter because we had some major work/studying to do. She came in and sat on my futon and after about 10 minutes we both realized that we were currently too fatigued to make any studying worth it. Thus we agreed to take a *short* cat nap. Stef slept in my room and we set 12 different alarms between cell phones, clock radios and computers to ensure we’d wake up 3 hours later to actually work. It didn’t work.The alarms were set to sound at different times between 2:00AM and 2:12AM. Apparently when such time rolled around, we both hypnotically shut off all twelve alarms and went back to bed. At around 5am that morning, Stef woke up, rolled over and the following conversation happened:”Chrissss…..”"…..what.”"It’s like, five am.”"We’re horrible people.”…. then came the collective roll over and return to sleepyland. We then proceeded to sleep through BOTH of our 8am exams and woke up later that morning. Unfortunately when I was telling this story to the dinner crew in Ingersoll later that evening, I was again not paying attention to my words and said…”…so last night Stef and I slept together and our all-nighter totally…. oh, CRAP.” I fail.-Chris 

oh dear…

Dear Awkward,

Today I was in my friend Molly’s room (for those of you who dont know, shes an RA in Ingersoll) and we were trying to do our O Chem lab reports but weren’t getting anything done due to the fact that the mid term we just took in our lab decided to run us over, back up, and run us over again. Anyways, I was looking down at my book and I SWEAR I saw the word “muffin” somewhere in the middle! I made this huge deal trying to look for the word while Molly was laughing at me, and in the end it turned out to be “Mifflin”….close enough.          

Then maybe two minutes later we were resting our heads on top of our books when Molly says, “dont you LOVE the smell of this paper?” And if you havent smelled it before, carbon copy paper smells AWESOME! Anyways, not thinking what I was saying I replied, “yeah, I really LOVE the smell of carbonated paper!”….once I said that I stopped to think about it and Molly died laughing.

Moral of the story: today I couldnt speak or read and it turned into something awkward, but funny.

~Missa

Yay 4 Laptops

Dear Awkward,

Literally, about five minutes ago in Astronomy class, Chris leaned back in one of the chairs in the lecture hall and it totally snapped in half. HA. I should take my laptop everywhere and just follow Chris around all day.

 Oh and earlier in History, about an hour ago….Chris’ phone started to ring in class and he totally flipped a sh*t. Like, he pulled an arm-flailing, heart attack move. People were laughing. It was glorious. The End.

 -Stefanie

It’s “SARONG”!!!

Dear Awkward,

       We are taking a trip back into awkward moments of the past. October of 2004, to be specific. Our varsity volleyball team decided to take a trip to Hawaii for a tournament. It was probably the worst trip of my life, considering I had absolutely no friends on that team and could barely tolerate their constant need for attention from guys. BUT, this moment almost made the trip entirely worth it….

     We were at a luau on the third night of the trip, when my teammates spotted this guy they were drooling over. He was Hawaiian, and was wearing a sarong–for those of you that don’t know what that is, it is a long peice of cloth with bright colors…guys pretty much wear it like a towell (or as I like to say: a skirt). Anyways, they were all fixing their hair and hiking up their skirts when all of the sudden this girl Natalie from the team says ”OMG, that guy over there is soo hott…I just wanna rip off his shlong!!”  LOL. Shlong?! Wow. How Awkward.

 -Stefanie

Cameron’s Dyslexia

Dear Awkward,

 Poor Cameron Miller has severe dyslexia, especially when it comes to saying “Lory Student Center,” or, apparently, “Loaf ‘n Jug” (the gas station). The other night Chris and I were listing off gas stations for reasons that now escape me, and Cameron chimes in, listing the “Jug ‘n Loaf”. I just giggled at little and probably mockingly referenced the “Stoody Lorent Center”, and Chris proceeded to say “‘JUG ’n Loaf’? That sounds like some sort of awkward dance move.” I then asked him what that moved looked like and without missing a beat–as if he had recently been rehearsing the “Jug ‘n Loaf”–he stuck both of his arms straight out, pretending to hold jugs of milk, while squatting (or…ahem, “loafing”). lol. Oh man. It was good stuff. 

 And to make this story even MORE awkward….

I was walking to work today when I saw a group of students outside of Eddy doing a dance to some French children’s song…..and I swear, the “Jug n’ Loaf” was the very first move of the dance…   I guess it’s already becoming popular.

 -Stefanie

poor chris…

Dear Awkward,

Yet another epic moment in History 150 with Chris Carpenter. You see, Chris has organizational OCD, and so he writes all of his notes for the day on legal pads, and then tears them off at the end of the day to stick them into individual binders for each class. Well, on Monday he didn’t have them with him. Sooo, its five minutes before class starts and I’m just getting out my notebook and pencil in preparation for class when Chris leans over to me and says “Hey, Stef…can I borrow a couple pieces of paper? I totally forgot my pads today..” lol!!! I haven’t laughed like that since the discovery of Chris’ hidden talent to do “Scuttle” in the Little Mermaid

……..I’m so glad you are in that class, Chris. I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten a complete ab workout from laughing so hard at some of the moments in that room. Haha…this one is epic, though. I’ll never let you forget it. And I bet you’ll never forget your “pads” again…

-Stefanie

Thats what she said

Dear Awkward,

 So I went home a few weeks ago for a funeral and of course the whole family was there…..and the 2 people I couldn’t wait to see were my cousins. Anyways, we spent the whole weekend purposly saying things to make someone say, “thats what she said.” Later that weekend, one of my aunts gave us this plant, which we put on the floor of the front seat of the car to take home later that day. Well, one of my cousins and I decided we needed to get batteries at safeway. So I got into the driver’s seat and he got in on the passenger side of the car and right before we left, knowing what my response had to be, he decided to tell me, “yah know Marissa, its really uncomfortable with your bush between my legs.” I literally couldn’t drive for the next 5 min because we were laughing so hard….and then I finally said, “thats what she said.” omg….funny…..yes…..awkward…oh yes.

~Missa

Thats the RA’s razor….

Dear Awkward,

So the other night (aka: 4am) I heard one of my suitemates and a boy go into my bathroom and turn on the shower where they proceeded to have gross, loud, obnoxiously LOUD sex.  When they finally decided to finish, I heard my suitemate say something about my razor (which they broke) and asked him if she hurt “it”…omg ew…i now hide my razor!  But the next most awkward moment of my life was when I heard my other suitemate walk in and say “switch time”! AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHH…that is when I died.  AWKWARD times a zillion! And to make things more awkward on my side of the bathroom….I decided to sit next to the door and make scratching noises to see if they would stop….uhm no.

-Missa